Fear, Doubt and Insecurity

As I have mentioned before, it has come time to move on in my career. I need to find a full time job and I am really quite apprehensive. I have already had an interview with a company called CIBER, Inc. and I think I did well in it. Today I got another call, this time from a recruiter, about a position that is pretty close to Squirrel Hill. I spoke to him for a few minutes and the job sounded promising and then he sent me an email with the job description. I freaked out and probably ruined my chances of even getting an interview. I read the details of the job and it seemed to me that it would be way above what I would be comfortable doing; project lead, B.S. degree required. So I sent him an email back saying this:

Dear Dave,

I am wondering if you sent me the wrong job description? This position seems to be above my qualifications. I would love to work on a QA team but I only have 5 months of work in this field and do not feel qualified to be a project lead. Furthermore, the job description states that a bachelors degree is required and I don't have one. If there is a job description for a more junior position I would be glad to apply but I believe this one would be too challenging as my first full time job in the field.

He responded with this:

That is the right position.  They looking for someone who is Junior level.  If you feel that you don’t have enough experience to pursue this position it is ok.  I can contact you for other positions that I think you would be a good fit for. 
Thank you

To which I replied:
Hey Dave,

Would it be ok to ask for an interview to get a better sense from the company of what my exact responsibilities would be? I would be ok with going in and presenting myself. I don't want to rule myself out of anything without knowing more about it.

Now I am freaking out at my desk that I totally screwed this whole thing up. I didn't think I would be qualified for the job I am working right now and I did a great job at the interview and am doing a really good job at work. Why couldn't I have just kept quiet and listened to my gut. 

Have I ruined my chance at this job?

Update: Apparently I didn't blow my shot. This email was waiting for me in my inbox when I got home:
Yes, we can send your resume to our client and see if there is any interest on their end.  I will also keep in you mind for any other positions I have that I think you might be a good fit for.
Thank you


Moving Forward in my Hockey "Career"

The "Net Crashers" (the name of my hockey team) now have 4 games in the bag. We also have 4 losses. We are definitely the worst team in the league, thanks in part to some bad information about the level we would be playing in and also because we just had no idea. We still go out there and have fun but in the 4 games that we have played we are outscored by a total of sixty-something to three. I had one of those three. It was a completely individual effort goal and was unassisted. We have six games left and then I will be a "free agent".

Despite our ineptitude in this league we still are managing to laugh, learn and find some humor in our weekly spankings. This past game I found a tooth on the floor of our teams bench. It was an awesome sight. I've also been learning and putting into practice the art of drawing a penalty better. That has never been a part of my game but in a non-checking league especially it is a great way to get a man advantage opportunity. This past Sunday, while chasing a loose puck in the corner, I was neck and neck with a guy on the other team. He managed to lose his stick so I positioned myself between him and the boards. When we hit the wall where the puck was I "fell" onto my knees and the checking penalty was called. It would have been nicer if my teammates knew what to do on a power play. See, while they are all growing in their knowledge and skills of the game, the finer points of hockey such as icing, penalties, offsides and other such rules are beyond their skill sets right now. I mean them no ill will, I was a novice too at one point and it really is great to see the weekly improvements of many players on the team.

I do feel that this is a good point in my playing "career" to surround myself with players that are better than I am. I would like to stay in the league I am currently in but on a different team that provides me the opportunity to be competitive. I really will miss the teammates I have now. Some of us have been playing together for almost two years and we have a great locker room report. We are like a big dysfunctional family.

This season has been, and continues to be, a humbling one. Above all it is teaching me that hockey is really a team sport. Personal skills can only take a player so far. In the end, it is the power of the team that wins or loses a game. I plan on showing up for every remaining game of the season and competing to the best of my abilities. I am going to give it my all because I made a commitment and I honor my commitments. However, this is my stepping stone to the next level. This is where I take the step that most benefits me. 

This is my time.


22 week Birth Center Appointment

For some reason I have had a hard time remembering Birth Center appointments. I haven't missed any as Rik is an excellent secretary, but I think I asked her about 5 times this week what we were doing on Monday afternoon. So when she and her parents picked me up from work and turned right (towards our appointment) instead of going straight (towards home) I was confused. Oh well. C'est la vie.

Anywhoozles, we had the appointment. We got to show my in-laws around the place and I got to see some of it for the first time too (I thought I had taken the full tour but apparently I was wrong). Our midwife today was Ann and we had never met with her before. You know, just when I thought the midwives couldn't possibly get any nicer, we met Ann. She was my favorite so far. All of them have really shown that they care about us and little Ike so much but if I had my choice right now, out of the midwives we have met so far, I would want her to deliver Ike. Just saying. Needless to say, the in-laws liked the Birth Center. I kinda expected that as they were the ones that gave us all the initial information about it.

Well, it seems I have run out of things to say right now. Ike is kicking a lot for Totti and when I stayed up until midnight to celebrate the very beginning of my birthday, Ike kicked up a storm as Rik wished me a happy birthday. Babies seem to be so intuitive.


Update on the Kicking

Thank G-d Ike won't stop kicking. I can't describe how it feels in words, but each time it happens it surprises me, like a hiccup. Hiccups always surprise me, even when I'm having a hiccup attack (usually thanks to Yehuda).

Yehuda has been able to feel Ike kick a few times already. Yesterday he put his hand on my belly to try and feel, and I think Ike knew it was Totti's hand because there was a HUGE kick for Yehuda to feel. It's incredibly special sharing this with Yehuda, especially because the kicks are so sporadic. I never know if they will happen in sets so Yehuda can feel.

Anyways, I imagine that fairly soon everyone will be able to feel Ike, and even see little feet or hand popping out. So stay tuned.


Don't Kick Mommy

I think I'm feeling kicking! I'm resting after an exhausting day of working while still sick. It feels like my lower tummy has rolling burps. Kind of a weird way to put it, unless you're me and your Ike has decided burping is the coolest thing since sliced bread.

It's really special to feel Ike kick. It's a connection to my baby. There aren't a lot of connections to be made while Ike is inside the womb so feeling my baby kick is amazing. It's a sign that everything is going well. We are healthy and more than halfway to having a happy yummy baby.

I really can't wait to share the kicking with everyone else. For now though, it's my special feeling. Although, if I have to go through all of this I deserve to feel Ike kick first!

Update: Hey, it's Yehuda here. I just felt Ike kicking! It was so so cool! The kicking was really faint and Rik probably felt it better but it was almost as cool as seeing Ike on the sonogram screen. We saw kicking and we even saw the heartbeat that time but this time we felt it. Thanks for tuning in.


Jobs n' Worries n' Money n' Stuff

For the past 5 1/2 months I have been working as an intern at a consulting/software development/data analysis company called Management Science Associates, Inc. I have gotten really comfortable there but the internship is scheduled to end in the middle or end of August. That means that I need to start looking for a new job. UGH!

So, I had my usual pre-job hunt, freak out. No, wait. I didn't this time. Instead I updated my resume and applied to about 10-15 jobs. That was not easy but I feel really good about it. I am obviously not done as I don't have an offer on the table but it was definitely good inspiration to continue the search. Within the next few days I will probably search several more jobs.

A big motivation for getting a better job is that when I do, we will most likely be able to afford a car and a slightly larger apartment. Those are two things that we are really in need of for when Ike joins up with us in November. Those things are really helping me keep my head in searching for a job in this difficult process.

Rik, thanks for always having my back when I do get scared. I wouldn't even be at this job without your encouragement.

If any of you reading this post know of any jobs that I might be interested in please shoot me an email or give me a call. pittgoose@gmail.com.


Half Way There

I'm 20 weeks. We're half way through. While the time has flown, another 20 weeks seems so far off.

It's the second trimester "feel good" time for me. People are telling me my tummy has finally popped, but as far as I'm concerned my tummy popped the day I found out I was pregnant, so what do I know? I've only felt Ike kick a few times, but I know that soon enough I'll be up all night wishing for respite so I can finally sleep.

Today Yehuda, Ike, and I were extras on the set for Agent Emes (due out late fall or early winter or something- right in time for Ike's welcome to the world). It was quite fun. I felt bad as I yawned a few times. The best part is Ike is in the credits! I can't wait to see it. The Agent Emes films are absolutely adorable. I can't wait for my kids to be old enough to walk around dressed like Agent Emes.

That's all I've got for now, plus it's dinner time.